man i miss being young and in secondary school . Getting older.. hmmm it really gets you thinking on what you wanna be and what opportunities lies ahead in front of you. Me? im just trying to keep up with the rat race that always seems to be a few seconds in front of me. Deep down im just feeling super depressed about my upcoming 20th bday. I dont know why. Maybe its because when "Ranjit" hits that age, ill be 30+ ? 40+ ? Shit!

Gosh! just a while ago i was only sec 1 in this whole new environment called secondary school and exposing my "innocent self" to youthful lifestyle. But now pwah! im suddenly graduating from my polytechinic with a bloody diploma. Theres so many things to do. Choosing universities, starting to save, preparing for enlistment and doing attachments, finding a job, worrying about finding a job. Damn so stressful. I know part of my problem is im too damn fucking lazy to get my shit together. Anyways maybe my current bad mood might be due to the insomnia being caused by my running nose that is leaking like the niagra falls.

On the other hand, ive finally cleaned up my room. Its back to what it looks like when i first started out in poly. Spacious and sort of clean if i may say so my self =x. Anyways back on topic, i just feel that sometimes im living my life not for myself but for others. Like how im supposed to look in front of others etc. I know some of you guys will say things like your supposed to be matured enough to know what is right and what is wrong and do the right thing. But seriously, levels of tactfulness are essential. Either be there or get the hell lost.

Being 20 also has its perks, im one year closer to watching a R21 show =0. Thats about the only perk i can think of right now. Anyways at least my body is recovering from the beating i took from andreas the other day lol >.> no i didnt get beaten up ! we were training ! I dont know if he feels the same way but oh wells ill know on tuesday . Fucking Shihan fist -.-"

The new year just went by also. For all those i didnt get to wish, "Happy Late New Year!" and "Happy Chinese New Year" to you peeps.